Mother’s Day is rapidly approaching. This year will be the 101st officially celebrated by the USA and my 47th. When put that way I feel I’ve been around a long time to assess and understand the day itself. Ok, let us roll with that naive thought. I will be turning 48 this Fall, so I fall shy of being alive of half of the Mother’s Day celebrations, but I have gained some perspective as a child, mother, daughter-in-law and mother-less celebrant of the holiday.
As a child, I was eager to wish my Mom all the best on her special day! I made cards, created gifts, attempted plants etc., but my mother always kissed my face with gratitude. I’m certain my father took care of my mom when we were babies, on our behalf and in later years as a thank you for begin a wonderful mom and the gift of his being a wonderful dad.
As we get older, we get busier, we purchase cards, gifts, and we if we are blessed we have time for a visit or really great a meal together. This year will be the 9th year without my Mother alive on Mother’s Day. It is harder annually because as we grow, we understand better what makes this day so special.
Here is a harsh dose of honesty, I always loved honoring my Mom on Mother’s Day, until I became a Mother myself. Yes, I put it in black and white and wish it were not true. The first Mother’s Day I celebrated as a Mom, my parents made extra special for me, but still inside a little selfish I just wanted to enjoy the day, wtih my son and nobody else. OK if you are rolling your eyes most likely you are not a parent! My mother so understood, she knew the feelings she had been there herself, and what a gift to say it is your time to enjoy your baby, eventually babies. Hindsight ~ she was still and always giving even on her special day.
Over the years, blessed with two more babies I made it a point to honor my mother and my mother in law, yes still secretly just wanting to enjoy “my” day. That is so selfish, as if I were the only mother alive, but with age,and ten children between them, they were wiser and always insisted we celebrate. Now as I approach another Mother’s Day without my mom, and two of three children in different time zones I better understand the never ending gift of motherhood and the reason we celebrate our Mother’s.
So here we are many moons later. What I wouldn’t give to have one more Mother’s Day with my mom and am so thankful to still have my mother in law. My children were hinting about what I would like this year. Well here you go the kiddos, my unrealistic, ideal gift, I would love this mother’s day I would like to sleep in, not a chance I have not done it in over 30 years! I would like to wake and only worry about my needs, this reality was deleted from my being once I became a mom. I would like to wake have my coffee, not concern my self with the little things, emptying the dishwasher, laundry, what will everyone eat that day, what would they really like, is the propane filled, do I have all ingredients incase anyone changes their mind. The ultimate gift would be to know my children are happy, productive members of society and they bring kindness and love with them where ever they go.
Here are some great gift ideas for me and perhaps a mom or two (million) out there: call your mom, tell her you love her and appreciate her, write her a letter, an email a text whatever – she will love it. Do not spend money on gifts commercialized that seems to fit the hallmark idea. If you are living at home, and or visiting, perhaps snap on your mom eyes, anticipate in advance what will be needed, toilet paper replaced, soap in the shower, food, drinks, laundry folded and or washed. Give her a day with out worry or at least the smallest amount possible. Allow her to liesurely drink her morning tea or coffee, to work out or not,or here is a big one ~ to kiss your whole face no matter your age. Happy Mother’s Day to all who celebrate and those who are in honor of doing so!
I always say I married my best friend, this holiday reminds me I married my Soul Mate and my very best 2nd friend in the world! Forever blessed.