Category Archives: families

Hindsight is Power

Hindsight they say is 20/20.  I have never been able to figure who out who “they” are but they are often correct.

Spring is upon us, which always puts a pep in our step and gets the cobwebs off the to do list.

It is hard to believe this week we are preparing the house/yard for our daughter to host our grandsons first birthday.  That being said, the trick is in the balance of enjoying it all a long the way.

When we were younger and preparing for a big party the preparations would have us exhausted come party day.  This is the beauty of hindsight, here are a few things we learned a long the way:

Prepare what you can in advance.

Make a list, cross off and add on as you go, somethings might not get done and usually won’t make a difference.

That scuff on the wall, don’t worry, hire the painter post party there will be many more!

If you don’t want it broken, don’t have it out…

Clean the house but don’t freak yourself out, you will need to really clean when everyone is gone.

A causal party will have people coming and going, use the round off number for food and drink.

If you want something done at a certain time, it’s easier now with smart phones, set the alarm on your phone so time doesn’t slip away.

If someone offers to help and you can count on them, take them up on their offer.  (this is a tricky one took me almost 50 years)

If it is in your budget and depending on the party, hire a couple of people to clean up trash in the height of the party.  We started catering, cleaning people and bartenders later on for parties and this really allowed us to enjoy our guests.

If your friends are the guests they already know you, you don’t have to impress them.  They just want to share in your joy and fun.  Take the time to socialize, the mess will be there when they leave.

That being said, I have a list to conquer because those lists don’t conquer themselves!

I*t’s been a while since I’ve sat to write not the case of writers block but writer be busy.


“Double Double Toil and Trouble”

It’s a week away from Halloween and the temps are starting to drop.  Fall weather has finally joined us at the Jersey Shore.  Living in Toms River, it is one of  the few places that  we trick or  on October 30th, yes the day before Halloween.  The idea was established so the town could all enjoy the Halloween Parade on the 31st as a family.  I have some great memories of lining up on Main St. early to have a good view with a zip loc bag of sugar filled treats.

When I was a kid (oh my sounding older then my 49 years), we were excited to go out and fill up a pillow case of goodies.  Stopping home to unload your treats, fuel up and go back out for round 2 or 3!  Times they are a changing, society is changing, there is a lot more “Trunk or Treats” for children’s safety and what seems like convenience.  There is something to be said about going out and walking for hours for candy you don’t even like just to say you got more then your friends.  It is a simple way that children have fun and learn their perseverance pays off.

Over the years, there have been less trick or treaters and definitely more cars driving the kids around to get their treats.  Everyone is in a rush, missing out on the simple fun and dare I say exercise.  Our kiddos are grown but we are excited to stroll with our grandson and see his reaction to the costumes and treats.  He is too young to walk and eat the goodies but his mommy has his costume or costumes ready to go!

So don’t be ghoulish, turn on your front light, welcome the little goblins and have fun in seeing the joy in the kids eyes.  I’m thinking of a sign to have for parents who are walking the endless hours and might need a refill in their cup!


Funny, Not Funny

Let me start with the simple facts, We make plans and God laughs.  That being said is funny, but not funny. If you can’t laugh out loud and at yourself, about your life, well it is going to be a bumpy ride.

I’ve been quiet for a few months, more because my mother once taught me this lesson, if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.

So I shall use humor to sum up the what, that is foremost on the list of funny, not funny.

If you go back to the start of it all, we were babies raising babies.   Then just a blink or two ago we were an almost empty nest …… we were not sad, but excited, for what life had in store for us! …. (at this point go back and grimace with my opening line).

Not to long ago, we had to put down our chocolate lab, Hershey, it was heartbreaking, we agreed no more dogs, he was the best.  Here comes a dash of humor, now we harbor two small pups, each belonging to one of our daughters, funny, not funny.  Life carries on.

How did we obtain two pups??? Oh the story would have you in stitches, humor prevails here on Edith Ct.!

So our almost ,so close to empty nest, yes the one with the two pups.  We now await a grandson at any moment!  It is hard to make jokes about this, but those pups got in to the action and have been having a blast with all items #BabyLuke.

Hard to believe, April Fools Day has come and gone, our Presidential candidates are still the same, Funny Not Funny. So NOT FUNNY!

Having an amazing husband who entertains all my passions, joins the #USTA mixed doubles league, only to pull a groin muscle a few weeks prior to ending the season, just not so funny. He is the best sport, in life, work and love.  Not so funny that he who he is so disciplined in his fitness has to undergo injury.

Fabulous  to think for a house of adults, we are to blessed with a little boy, a grandson who will educate us all on FUN!

If you are feeling down, go bump your Funny Bone, yeah I know it’s  funny, NOT, so funny.

Through My Mothers Eyes

Life is funny, if you have a sense of humor.  When you are little you don’t want to rest or nap, as you age you would give anything to have the time to do so.

As you grow up, you respect the older generation.  When you are younger you especially  have no time for your parents, their input, or at least you pretend not to.  The time comes when all you want is their input and sometimes they are no longer present, physically but always spiritually.

When I was younger I dreamed of the life and family I wanted and prayed for it.  One day I was blessed enough to have those dreams come true.  I would always ask my mother’s opinion on various aspects of marriage, parenthood, house decor etc…  Once she gave her opinion even if I agreed 100%, sometimes I would do the complete opposite.

She would smile and know that I needed to follow my path to be the best me.  Ironically that path always led back to her first input.  Life is funny like that.

When we were younger my siblings and I would tease her on how easily she would tear up, or get upset on holidays.  Now that I’m a mom of three adult children I completely understand her.  I thought I knew her then, oh but mommy I get you more day by day.

I understand now, her want for a picture perfect holiday with her family, because it makes you immortal.  These photos consist of pain, tears and finally the smiles that Dad says you must wear to please your mother.  She will complain about how she looks but deep down, she loves that her babies are together, with her.  The best gift, the presence of those she loves.

This coming year has me reflecting more and more on my parents and ever so grateful for their grace and love.  If I can be half of who they were to me and my children I will consider myself doubly blessed.

The greatest gift she taught me is unconditional love!  I pray to be half the grandmother she was to her grandchildren and promise to spread her legacy to my grandchildren.

Happy New Year, embrace 2016!





Over a Century of Mother’s Day Madness

Mother’s Day is rapidly approaching.  This year will be the 101st officially celebrated by the USA and my 47th.  When put that way I feel I’ve been around a long time to assess and understand the day itself.  Ok, let  us roll with that naive thought.  I will be turning 48 this Fall, so I fall shy of being alive of half of the Mother’s Day celebrations, but I have gained some perspective as a child, mother, daughter-in-law and mother-less celebrant of the holiday.

As a child, I was eager to wish my Mom all the best on her special day!  I made cards, created gifts, attempted plants etc., but my mother always kissed my face with gratitude. I’m certain my father took care of my mom when we were babies, on our behalf and in later years as a thank you for begin a wonderful mom and the gift of his being a wonderful dad.

As we get older, we get busier, we purchase cards, gifts, and we if we are blessed we have time for a visit or really great a meal together.  This year will be the 9th year without my Mother alive on Mother’s Day.  It is harder annually because as we grow, we understand better what makes this day so special.

Here is a harsh dose of honesty, I always loved honoring my Mom on Mother’s Day, until I became a Mother myself.  Yes, I put it in black and white and wish it were not true.  The first Mother’s Day I celebrated as a Mom, my parents made extra special for me, but still inside a little selfish I just wanted to enjoy the day, wtih my son and nobody else.  OK if you are rolling your eyes  most likely you are not a parent!  My mother so understood, she knew the feelings she had been there herself, and what a gift to say it is your time to enjoy your baby, eventually babies.  Hindsight ~ she was still and always giving even on her special day.

Over the years, blessed with two more babies I made it a point to honor my mother and my mother in law, yes still secretly just wanting to enjoy “my” day.  That is so selfish, as if I were the only mother alive, but with age,and ten children between them, they were wiser and always insisted we celebrate.  Now as I approach another Mother’s Day without my mom, and two of three children in different time zones I better understand the never ending gift of motherhood and the reason we celebrate our Mother’s.

So here we are many moons later.  What I wouldn’t give to have one more Mother’s Day with my mom and am so thankful to still have my mother in law.   My children were hinting about what I would like this year.  Well here you go the kiddos, my  unrealistic, ideal gift, I would love this mother’s day I would like to sleep in, not a chance I have not done it in over 30 years!  I would like to wake and only worry about my needs, this reality was deleted from my being once I became a mom.  I would like to wake have my coffee, not concern my self with the little things, emptying the dishwasher, laundry, what will everyone eat that day, what would they really like, is the propane filled, do I have all ingredients incase anyone changes their mind.  The ultimate gift would be to know my children are happy, productive members of society and they bring kindness and love with them where ever they go.

Here are some great gift ideas for me and perhaps a mom or two (million) out there: call your mom, tell her you love her and appreciate her, write her a letter, an email a text whatever – she will love it.  Do not spend money on gifts commercialized that seems to fit the hallmark idea.  If you are living at home, and or visiting, perhaps snap on your mom eyes, anticipate in advance what will be needed, toilet paper replaced, soap in the shower, food, drinks, laundry folded and or washed.  Give her a day with out worry or at least the smallest amount possible.  Allow her to liesurely drink her morning tea or coffee, to work out or not,or here is a big one ~  to kiss your whole face no matter your age.  Happy Mother’s Day to all who celebrate and those who are in honor of doing so!

I always say I married my best friend, this holiday reminds me I married my Soul Mate and my very best 2nd friend in the world! Forever blessed.