Marriage is like a handed down recipe

This weekend we are empty nesters, our youngest is off visiting the eldest and his new bride, hence the newlyweds and our middle is busy living life and working hard in the lone-star state.  So as hubby is driving the recent HS grad to the airport, I am preparing dinner.

These are thoughts that came to me.  Marriage is like a recipe handed down over time.  It is an institution we go through great lengths to join.  In the beginning we live off love, our rose colored glasses are on 24 hours because we are finally together, going to show the world a thing or two thousand! lol …….

When first married, I had one, possibly two types of oils and possibly vinegars in my cabinets.  The meals I made were out of love and error and yet every night my husband ate it up saying it was the best ever.  It was not the meal at the table, but our lives intertwining ever so and blending everyday.

So today as I was cooking, my mind wandered as it often does and then people sImageay share that recipe and I do.  They say I don’t like garlic or cilantro or pepper etc…. Well here is the secret…….  The recipe is not binding, it is not perfect for every pallet, it should be adjusted with love, tried a few times for perfection for your home, faith and life.  

That is the secret to cooking, living, loving, marriage, raising kids, aging parents, empty nesters, take the recipe from those you admire and love and then perfect it for yourself so when you pass it down, the same can be done!

Bon appetit and wishes for a life filled with love, faith, family and fun!

This Bud goes to the inventor of the wheel

ImageToday as I was driving down the road I realized we really need to show more love for the invention of the wheel.  Where would we be without it?  The early ages it was so helpful to move tons of boulders for building.  Time progresses and we are thankful for garbage cans to roll our cans to the curb for pick up, food shopping to purchase all things we would not be able to carry alone.

When we have children, it starts with strollers, hand pushed carts, tricycles, bicycles, scooters, skateboards oh my!  Then we want to drive!  The choices, motorcycles, cars, airplanes (they have wheels and wings!),  jobs with front loaders, 18 wheelers, tanks and many many other options.  There is a time we are thankful to escape our craziness of buzzing around as fast as we can and we go back to the enjoyment of cycling, for exercise or escape.

Then we age, we need walkers with wheels, wheel chairs, commodes on wheels, beds on wheels and sadly enough the wheels that are placed under our coffins to our final rest.

So today or this week or in the near future wherever you might find yourself with a drink in hand, I’m certain at some point wheels helped you get there raise your glass and say CHEERS to the inventor of the wheel!  

*Remember don’t drink and drive your wheels*

The art of gifting …..

ImageReceiving and giving a gift should bring great joy to both the recipient and the giver.  Over the years the list seems to grow to and the gift purchasing becomes a chore.  What is the age that you stop gifting to a relative, friend, neighbor etc.?  

We had this discussion with friends a few weeks back and it really got to me.  There are times I buy a gift for someone because when I see it all I can see is the recipient just loving it or enjoying that I thought of them for no particular reason.  It is much better then shopping, getting aggravated while trying to spend the appropriate amount of money on people you have but not a clue of what to give.

One of our social circles has decided we see each other all year, have a blast together etc but the gifting is for the kids only.  We have decided for our birthdays we will split the cost of a night out with a limo, dinner, and an event.  Sometimes we skip the gift and decide to give to someone in need of it.  Lord knows there are so many in need right in our own town, state, country, and hospitals.

I think a card on your birthday is a great way of people letting them know you are thinking of them.  A gift is a wonderful gesture as well, but it should not feel as an obligation or an expectation.  We celebrate Christmas and as our family has grown and grown the boundaries have become blurred.  This is why I think help Santa out, spoil your children and spouse, gift the food pantry in your community instead of running crazy to buy gifts that seem unwanted or under appreciated.  

We have gifted over the past years to complete strangers, whose struggle we have learned of and they have no idea who helped them out and to friends that didn’t ask but could use it.  Those are the gifts that make our heart so happy.

So save some green, this year, send a viral video, pick some flowers, and just send wishes.  Most will be thankful you thought of them.  If not you will be thankful you didn’t burst your budget on gifting.  Plus if you have kids, they are always in need of those extra bills lying around in your wallet!

Let me know your thoughts, no presents required!

Fathers Day

Fathers Day is rapidly approaching.  It is a day that brings much reflection.  My father passed in 1993 almost 21 years ago, shortly after our daughter was born.  He had been sick but had rebounded so many times I wasn’t really expecting it.  The greatest gift prior to his death was our daughter being born six weeks premature.  He was able to meet her before he passed 10 days later and we have one photo of them together.  She will never remember him, but I remember being on the phone all night with my parents, making my Dad promise he would stay healthy to meet her.

It is often said a woman marries a man like her father.  I happen to agree, perhaps not when I was younger but now most definitely.  My husband and my father were both born on September the 8th (obviously different years), my father was Italian my husband Irish.  My father was more vocal and louder then my husband, but both got their point across.  My father was loyal and loving to his family as is my husband.

He was always kind, respectful and loving to my father and now has the same compassion with his dad.  He changed his office location and is able to spend and give of himself to his parents.  It endears me.Image

The gift I hope my husband receives this year and daily is to realize we couldn’t love him more for the man he is.  He loves us unconditionally, provides for us emotionally and financially.  He is filled with love and compassion without end, he is a man of faith, generosity and the ability to give of himself.

Our son was married this year so he gets an additional child to love and care for, our daughter in law.  He often talks with our son , they discuss life, work, sports and never hang up or say good bye without an “I Love You”, or a kiss when in each others company, what a legacy to give your son.

Our oldest daughter moved out of state this year after graduating College.  He never tried to steer her from her dreams but encouraged her, offers her sage advice as far as business, home buying and life.  I can only pray the man she marries follows the life of love she receives from her Daddy.  She has been raised to believe in herself no matter her dream and deserves a partner to take the baton and run with it.

The baby of the family just graduated HS, she is currently following his career path.  He is excited and teaching her the importance of internship and guiding her as he did her sister and brother.  He is endeared to come home and hear about her day and what her plans are.  The same as when the older kids call.

That same man, my husband always has time to make me feel like the most important woman in the world.  He makes me feel smart, beautiful and always has time for me.  This fathers day and each day I try to give back to him what he gives to all of us.

If you are blessed enough to still have your father with you, share your love, your time and if it has been awhile make the call!

The Aging of America

We are living longer.  There are many stats to support it, however, if you open your eyes you see it everywhere.  The gym is filled with middle aged to older adults, bars, restaurants etc.  Technology is right on this as our phones and screens are getting larger, target audience being middle age.  This often brings many concerns, have we banked enough, who is going to care for our aging parents and ourselves as we age.

It brings me to my question I often like to ask, “Would you rather lose your mental awareness or your physical ability?”  If you lose your mind it is tough on your family.  If you keep your mental faculties and watch your body deteriorate it is harder on yourself mentally.

The importance of this question is to raise awareness, your planning for your age, to let your spouse and children know what you would want in certain situations.  To ease the guilt for your caregivers should you really need full time care, nursing home etc.

It is not a negative question or meant to be a downer but yet to create animated discussions prior to it becoming a reality.

WRITERS BLOCK

Image OK so now you know the truth of my struggles.  I have been wanting to blog about a few things but I have been BLOCKED!

The more I think about the cause a few things come to mind.  I have listed them perhaps you can give me some feedback on how to get around them but as for now, they are taking over my thoughts!

The first and foremost why is it no matter which lipstick I decide to wear it won’t stay on my lips?  I do however struggle to remove it from every water bottle and glass I use…… Just writing it has me drifting off on the dilemma.

My dog is aging, he has trouble going for walks, getting up on the sofa, but why he is sleeping he trots for miles!  He is a snoring trotter, unbelievable. When he awakes he is bleary eyed and now I know why he limps but I don’t think he does.

The summer season is upon us, we wear less clothing, spend most of our days in swim wear and my laundry has doubled?!  Seriously, where is it coming from?

Summer reading list, why does it exist?  Did it start from elementary school and carry over to adulthood?  Everyone posts that it’s finally summer and they have their list of reading material. We are adults can we not read for enjoyment all year round?

I’m off to reapply my lipstick and throw another load of wash in the machine, then I might get crazy and do some summer reading.

 

Growing Pains

ImageGrowing pains and empty nester in training seem to go hand in hand.  Growing pains are often referred to our children and their vertical sprout.  Our youngest is a few short days from HS Graduation and I have been wondering which of us is suffering the most.  

She is growing in to a fine young lady.  However, she still has the illusions that we do not know what HS students are up to prior to graduation, some silly decisions, some aches and pains and thankfully for the most part trying to gauge her inner compass due North.

This being said as parents we to experience growing pains.  The ability to allow our offspring to spread their wings as they aim for the mountain as we pray at the last moment they soar before crashing.  We must give them room for error should we want them to grow, and soar.

I have been faced with a decision to confront or take a pass and wait for occasions that are non negotiable.  I have decided to go with the 24 hour rule.  Self explanatory, in 24 hours should it still be haunting or daunting a conversation is a must.  These 24 hour spurts have allowed me to absorb, rationalize and plan.  These my friends are the growing pains of parents.

So to the parents of children born in 2014 and someone says just think HS graduation in 2031!  You think it is lightyears away, it’s just years of growing pains, hopefully most are pain free and you can laugh about them.